The Goddess Series: Ixchel

Ixchell is the Mayan Goddess of the Moon, and is said to have given birth to all Mayan Gods and Goddesses after her. Like the Goddess Gaia, she is a fertility goddess and is the embodiment of the mother and motherhood.

In short, Ixchell had a tumultuous love affair with the Mayan God of the sun, Kinich Ahau, all the while bearing him four sons. Ixchell and Kinich Ahau’s four sons (four for the four cardinal directions and elements) were the jaguar Gods thus beginning the line of the Mayan Gods.

Often, as so many goddesses are portrayed, you hear of Kinich Ahau as Ixchell’s husband which for a while was very true! However, the Sun God was known to be jealous and abusive causing Ixchell to eventually leave him. After many years of chasing Kinich Ahau, coming together as husband and wife, and having children Ixchell transformed herself into a jaguar and left the Sun God to shine bright on her own. Everytime he would search for Ixchell, she would be invisible. Hence him being the Sun and Ixchell being the moon.. you get the picture! Ixchell is often called “Lady Rainbow” because it is said that she controls all rainfall and therefore creates the rainbows after it rains.

Ixchell is a powerful example for many women. Ixchell chased Kinich Ahau for a long time before he finally noticed her, and, later on, left him to be her true self shining brighter and better than before. How many of us women have made ourselves feel small for or stand in the shadow of a man only to realize later we had lost ourselves? Those having had this experience know that this realization is frightening. Yet, this is about that pause right afterwards. That brief moment where you stop to think how you’ve gotten to this place and then.. well.. how do I get out?

Ixchel – Medicine Woman

“You are a channel for Divine healing power”

Ixchell is here to deliver a message of healing. However, it is your choice to heal! No one can force us to move on or heal from our past wounds. Healing, forgiveness, etc. are choices. We can choose to push forward, or we can keep reopening our wounds and stay stuck in the past. We are not only channels for divine healing; we are healing. The power is within us! I have two questions for you:
1. Do you want to heal?
2. If not, what is stopping you?

Some of you may find those questions odd because it would seem a little silly not to want to get better. Unfortunately, some of us at some point in our lives have been through a situation where the

familiar pain has become somewhat comforting. It’s easy to hold on to the hurts of the past because if we let go.. what do we have left?

Ask yourself: Who am I with out my pain?

There’s a large shift occurring right now, and I’m sure all of you can feel it as well. Most of my readings, especially my last entry, have centered around self-discovery, change, and.. well.. basically everything getting thrown upside down! We are being forced to face ourselves and the situations we have created that no longer serve us. Now is the time to allow yourself to come to terms with your pain, past sufferings, and hardships so that you can discover who you truly are.

Change is coming, but will you allow yourself to heal alongside these changes? Our insides will always manifest on the outside in the physical realm. Don’t turn your blessings into burdens by allowing your past hurts to sour your joy! If you’re finding yourself in a current situation that you are having trouble healing from, it may be time to walk away. Too often we allow people and situations that no longer serve us to determine our happiness and well being. True joy and healing come from within. More importantly, true joy and healing come from the source. A job will not heal you. A man/woman will not heal you. A drug will not heal you. Sex will not heal you (sorry, Marvin Gaye). Look inside yourself and ask God and your guides, angels, and ancestors to illuminate the parts of you that are hidden in the dark. We must bring out what has been hidden in the dark into the light so that we may move past it.

I don’t hold onto hurt and suffering because it doesn’t do anything but hurt me immediately and in the long run. I allow myself to feel my emotions and speak my truth, but I won’t sit around and harp on it all day. I’ll shed a few tears, say what I need to, write if I need to, and then I go about my day. If I start to get upset again, I honor myself and my feelings and acknowledge them. Do I sit in them? No. I keep moving. The key is to allow yourself to process your hurt, but do not let it cripple you. Is it easy? No, not always. There have been moments where I’d rather curl up on my couch with a bag of Doritos, call out of work, and sob while watching Netflix. Today, I love myself enough to honor and respect myself. I know that putting my life on pause, beating myself up, and making reckless choices are not in my best interest.

Also very important, part of the healing process is making sure that, while we heal, we don’t create damage in our wake. Healing is NOT making another person feel inadequate or upset because you feel they have wronged you. It is okay to be angry. It is never (I repeat) never okay to be cruel. In fact, that kind of behavior and treatment of others could not only be a portion of what brought us to this place, but it is a symptom of a much larger issue: lack of Self-Love.

Here are a few questions/statements that help me. Below I’m going to try and give you a condensed and much less scatterbrained outline of my thought process when it comes to forgiveness and healing.

1. Can I change the past or event that occurred? AKA, Can I time travel and make it so that never happened? The answer to that is NO.

2. What part of this event, if any, am I accountable/responsible for?

3. Forgive the other person / Forgive myself.
What happened may not be okay, but forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is for YOU. Carrying around resentment will burn a hole right through you. Trust me, I’ve been there. I used to be the Queen of resentment. Ask anyone who knew me 3-4 years ago, and you’d get a very different picture of me. As someone very close to me once said: Forgiveness is accepting that the past could not be any different. Again, we can’t time travel.

As far as forgiving yourself, just do better next time. Make this a learning experience. We all make mistakes, but hyper focusing on the one we just made isn’t going to make it any better.  Most of the time after we’ve made a mistake we want to make things better. How can we start doing better if we are still focusing on what we’ve done wrong? We can’t

As far as forgiveness being a decision: when you forgive.. that’s that. There’s no “I forgive you” now and then a few months later you pull out a laundry list of resentments. That isn’t forgiveness. That’s “I stuffed my feelings down for months on end because I didn’t want to deal with them, and now I’m going to vomit my emotions all over your shoes.” Whatever emotions we stuff down will eventually come back up to bite us in the physical world just like they’ve been eating at us on the inside for as long as we’ve held onto them. Like I said, forgiveness is a decision. If you need time to make that decision then that is okay. Part of that process is being honest with yourself and your loved ones. Even so, how long do you want to spend feeling like this? How long will you let this hurt you before you’ve had enough? We all reach threshold at some point.

Threshold: 
A. Something has to change.
B. It has to change now.
C. It has to be me.

Again, this is all up to you!

4. Am I happy with the current situation, or does something outside of myself need to change?
5. If something needs to change, is that possible?
6. If the aspect that I need to feel healthy, happy, and secure cannot be changed then I have two remaining choices:

Choice #1: Accept the situation for who/what it is, and adjust my outlook or beliefs accordingly. If I am comfortable with these changes within myself, I can continue being a part of said situation and move forward.

Choice #2: I cannot accept the situation/person for what/who they are. I must walk away from it/them and move forward. I cannot change other people. I can only heal and change myself.

Healing isn’t always an easy process, but the destination is always a beautiful place to step in to! Ixchell is ultimately here to tell you that healing will occur if you allow it to. Be good to yourself today! Don’t allow yourself to be defined by your losses, hurts, and shortcomings. Heal yourself and rid yourself of this deadweight so you can discover who you truly are. The road discovery is always remarkable.

Shine Bright Queens,

Shhheba

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